Written by Chris Nicholls, Jobs Growth Wales Plus Counsellor

It is coming to the time of the year where reflection can often take centre stage in people’s minds. A time where for many people, focus can turn to results and performance. Often, this is a time where exams have already taken place, people are waiting for or receiving their results, and it can be a time of uncertainty for a lot of people in terms of either where they are, or what comes next. We can even be impacted by seeing those around us being affected by this, even if we ourselves are not directly. This can all have a huge impact on how we perceive ourselves and in our ability to have confidence in ourselves.

Cambridge dictionary describes confidence as ‘a feeling of having little doubt about yourself or your abilities’. When there is so much emphasis placed on numbers, on grades and pressure to feel like you have to perform a certain way, it can be difficult not to doubt yourself at times.

When you look closer at the definition of the word though, it doesn’t say that you have to be a certain way, just to have the absence of doubt in your own abilities… or furthermore to maybe even have faith in one’s own abilities.

A quote that I really like on this subject is from someone called Guy Gavriel Kay. If you are not familiar with him, he helped Christopher Tolkien (son of J.R.R Tolkien) to edit the Silmarillion (the foundation and prequel to the Lord of The Rings series). He said that ‘there are no wrong turnings, only paths that we did not know that we were meant to walk’. I very much believe that is incredibly true.

For example, Walt Disney originally began engaging in drawing and engaging in nature because his father could often have spouts of anger, which could lead to verbal or even physical abuse. The drawing especially was an escape for him, before he gathered the courage to run away from home where his original desire was to join the military. It was that same passion for drawing that has shaped so many lives and even the world around us so many years later. The point is that he didn’t necessarily have a map of what he wanted to do, just something that had meaning for him and a willingness to explore a different path.

The American Psychological Association (APA) note that resilience is the process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or life changing experiences. In this sense it may not necessarily be about the event or difficulty that we encounter, but rather our ability to adapt and to persevere through it. There can be so much pressure to have to know what we want to do with the whole of our lives and that can mean being tested and pressured so much, at such an intense, difficult time of our lives. But if we are able to respond accordingly, if we can adapt…. then we too can be resilient.

This intertwines a lot with confidence. Confidence is to have belief in ourselves and our abilities whilst resilience requires confidence in our ability to cope. So, the message that I wish to convey is this. This can be an incredibly reflective, thought-provoking, and even difficult time for many. However, it does not have to dictate things for us. If we can have confidence in our abilities to cope then there are almost always other paths that we can take, even if we did not anticipate navigating them originally.

A huge part of the Itec mission is to provide learners with a different path that they may take, and to offer guidance which can illuminate that path as they traverse it.

I accept that this piece may have had a bit of a Jurassic Park, ‘life finds a way’ vibe. But to quote the great Dr Alan Grant, Sam Neill himself… ‘You are unique. There is only one you. And that is you there, right here, for better or worse. Except there is no better and there is no worse. It’s just you’.

If you come away from this with one message, it is that you are unique, your story is unique, and you are not limited to a singular path. Even if things may feel difficult, even if there may be something that feels like failure, your story continues and other paths still remain. So, treat yourself as unique, have faith in your abilities to continue to write that story, and make it something truly meaningful to you.